What is Manipulation?
The second installment in my “Am I Toxic or Am I Not a Pushover?” mini-series. Enjoy.
Google the word “manipulation” and this is what you’ll find via Wikipedia
I highlighted the last sentence because I thought it was the only part of this definition that was in Layman’s terms. The previous explanations may be clear to you, but why is it so many people misinterpret the meaning of “manipulation” in regards to psychological warfare? I’ll break down a few reasons why in this piece.
Gaslighting. This is another term people tend to overuse nowadays, but it does not take away from the real examples of when it is being used. People will gaslight you into thinking they aren’t manipulating you. Your favorite politicians do it all the time.
As important as it is to know the signs of someone exhibiting harmful behavior, it’s quite possible every “ick” you believe to be true is just your brain automatically giving everything the absolute worse label there is.
“G A S L I G H T I N G !” I know, but you’re not alone. I’m guilty of this too, so am I gaslighting myself?
See, it’s not just some “unqualified” writer telling you that you’re most likely overthinking, it’s Harvard business people saying that as well. Peep this Post by @EuzieQuotes on X and you’ll see the interaction Asia and I had. https://twitter.com/EzuieQuotes/status/1772223654908092501
Before anyone disagreed with me about this quote I was going to write about it because I know how controversial it is. The same points Asia made to me were points I made before so I know exactly where she’s coming from. I also know that overthinking can turn a victim into a sinner and a sinner into a saint.
Unfortunately today, there’s a thin line between what is and isn’t true and that line is also blurry. Thin and blurry? All of my fellow near-sited people are having a panic attack right now.
Yes, manipulation is a thing. Yes, the types of behaviors Asia mentioned do occur. No, that is not always the case. Not even most of the time. It’s sociopathic behavior exhibited by less than 1% of people within the United States and 2.6% of those people are seeking professional help to treat their NPD (Narcissist Personality Disorder)
I know the world is bigger than the United States but that stat just shows that 100% of the TikTok therapist and self-appointed mental health scholars are extremely loud and wrong.
I like Asia. Her tweets can be very uplifting. I agree with her most of the time, but I also notice when she’s going in the deep end and I don’t mean “deep” in a good way, although some of her tweets can be categorized as that, too. I mean I notice when she and others are just labeling everything the most extreme label that can fit the situation. I’ve been there before and I’ll probably fall victim to that mentality again, but I understand the dangers of giving everything a false label.
Let’s not be so emotionally driven that we forget what intent is. Intention is the real qualifier for what is and what isn’t. If I leave someone or a situation with the intent of not going back because staying wasn’t beneficial for my mental, emotional, physical or spiritual wellbeing, that doesn’t make me or anyone else in my shoes a manipulator. The person who now feels guilty for undervaluing me is not the victim of anything that isn’t their own doing. They made the decision to undermine me, even after a conversation was had about it. Why should anybody with an oz of self-respect continue to stay in a situation like that? Because male hating TikTok said so? Because some self-aggrandizing “content creator” might dislike them if they don’t stay?
The person who kills their abuser with the intent of freeing themselves shall not be viewed the same as the person who goes around abusing people. Before you begin to label anybody a murderer or something else harsh, look at the intent.
