Soft Racist.

You’re a soft racist, a “Soft R.” Not that it makes you better than the “Hard R’s” who commonly use the “Hard R” in their daily vernacular.

What sets you two apart isn’t morality, it’s demeanor. You don’t consider yourself one of them because you fancy yourself smarter than them. You’re also not as “strong” as they are (with guns) and that makes you mad and scared.

You are one of them, though.

You think you’re not, but that’s because you have yet to let go of that elementary school hate you’ve been harboring.

They were fat, loud, dirty and “boisterous.” You were chubby, quiet, clean (for white boy standards) and “well-mannered.” a “softy” in their eyes.

They bullied you for being different and you didn’t understand why. There’s this unspoken brotherhood you thought you had with them because of your skin color.

Time passes by. You got older, not wiser. They got older, fatter and dumber. You still believe you’re better than they are. You’re still in denial about your similarities.

“I wasn’t the one in middle school bullying the ch*nks.” “They bullied me too!”

But just like them you view blackness as a sin.

It doesn’t surprise me whenever a black life is taken by one of your brother’s your go to is to blame the black man for his own death. Blame the black woman for speaking up for herself.

Scene: A teenage girl sneaks out of her house to go to a house party. She has a few drinks at this party, smokes a little weed or a little “something something” and gets raped.

Do you blame the girl for “breaking the rules” or do you blame the rapist for raping the girl? Who is in the wrong here? (There is no option for choosing both).

You don’t have to answer that, “Soft R.” judging by your “intellect” you’d blame the girl while claiming to not be in defense of the rapist at all.

This is how you sound when you blame Amaud Arbery for his death. Mike Brown for his death. Sandra Bland for her death.

Their “crimes” to you are worthy of the death. You only apply this way of thinking when these “crimes” are done by sinfolk.

When you see your brothers storming government buildings with military machinery it’s their right, but when black folks walk the streets strapped up, they are “taking it too far.”

White nationalist are the folks who bullied you for not being exactly like them. They’ve grown up and continued to bully people for not being exactly like them and you still wish they didn’t make you feel like you were one of the “inferiors.”

See. You’re not so different than they are. You still believe everyone non-white is inferior and you still think black skin is a sin that should be eradicated from the planet. Only difference is your hygiene and hobbies.

If your brothers accepted you with open, sweaty, musty arms you’d be the one holding the torch (wooden stick) while they continuously bully unarmed black folks.

You’re a Soft Racist.