Rings Won’t Change A Thing.
Since the latest internet trend is pointing out red flags, one red flag when it comes to dating is when someone says they won’t start doing something for their significant other until they get married. Excluding religious/spiritual beliefs on sex after marriage I believe that mentality is super manipulative which is why it raises a red flag. I’m a firm believer that habits makes people who they are, not words. Human beings are creatures of habits. People can and do say things that’ll make them more attractive sounding to other people because we always want to be liked, but the best indicator of who someone is and what they’ll likely do or won’t do for us is best determined by their habits.
Are You Dating To Marry, The Right Way?
If the point to dating is to get married for those of us who desire that outcome why then have the attitude that certain actions are reserved for marriage when you don’t really mean it? Meaning you’re not going to do the thing(s) you said you would do for them. Life isn’t as sweet as you said it would be if they married you. I find it that most of the women who say things like “I won’t cook for my man until he puts a ring on it” are likely not going to cook for the man they told that lie to even after he put a ring on it. Same goes for any other “reserved right” they claimed was going to be given to the man if he asked for their hand in marriage. To me, when someone says they are dating to marry, it means they are not only looking for the potential person that they will marry, but they will be the type of husband/wife they want to be for their potential future spouse. You might ask “If I give up the “goods” now, then what will my future husband/wife have to look forward to once we finally get married?” I don’t know. I can’t answer that question for you. I don’t know what “goods” you have. If I had to take a guess, the marriage just solidifies that you and your partner will stick together for life or until death do you apart. Something a simple boy/girlfriend relationship just doesn’t have. Keep in mind the only people who have the right to even ask that question are those who intend on keeping their word to their partners. Not those who are just saying it to con their way into a ring so they can justify their toxicity and further inflate their egos.
Rewarding Bad Behavior.
You give a kid what they want when they are misbehaving just to shut them up, they’ll never learn why their actions are insufferable and wrong. Adults are a lot like children, but 5 times as worse. I’d probably be a piece of shit entitled prick, too if my parents didn’t teach me the importance of compromising and selflessness when appropriate. Yes, there’s still a possibility that the woman or man will be about their word and actually do the thing(s) they said they would do once they get married, but I’m not taking any chances. I’m opting to look at a person’s actions and making a judgment call on how married life with them will be based on what they do today. Don’t “they” say, the best way to determine your future is by focusing on the present? Giving a ring to somebody who is already entitled will just make them more entitled because it says “I didn’t need to stop being a terrible person and I still ended up getting married.” Women like to test, so what makes you think that giving her a ring, when she’s showed no signs of deserving one is where she will stop? What’s stopping her from doubling down on the mistreatment? If she can get a diamond for not being a woman of her word, imagine what she doesn’t have to do to get gold or bitcoin?
Why Marriage?
I’m not against marriage. I’m not against setting standards and standing firm on them. I just wouldn’t advise getting married for self-serving reasons. If your partner tells you they won’t have sex with you, cook for you ect. and you put a ring on their finger only to have a live-in breathing sex doll who doubles as your personal chef, you deserve the deception if that person doesn’t keep their word. Your relationship is already kept together with gum and scotch tape anyways. If you’re making ultimatums you know you have zero intention to keep, you should burn in hell. Who hurt me? No one. Not in this manner at least. I’m just ware that the woman I will marry is going to be one who’s actions speak for her and not just her words. Also one I get to have se with before we tie the knot.
