Lesbians of Color.

FKA ES Writer
4 min readJan 3, 2024
Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

Blood or not, when you put negative energy out there, I’ll sit back and watch karma do its thing — Yours Truly.

That was my response after seeing a misandrist post by a family member, one who has recently fallen on hard times. This family member has had nothing short of positive, loving, hardworking black male figures in her life who’ve provided safety for her both physically and emotionally. From her father (God rest his soul), my father (her uncle), to my brothers, her other cousins and a slew of uncles.

My cousin’s disgusting post.

As you can see, this post was written November 4th, 2023, weeks before losing her home sometime after Christmas. I am glad she’s alive, no doubt. But I went from a concerned cousin to a sideline spiritual survayor. This is just some more “the white man’s ice is colder” talk by someone black who foolishly believes the white man is willing to melt his ice and use that water to save them from the burning house and like all of the black women and men who believe this, they are wrong.

While the white man is charging her hundreds of dollars to stay in his hotel, there’s black men spending their hard earned dollars to buy her groceries and other needs. Sweat equity and emotional equity is also being spent by black men in her family. One of my brothers broke down in tears when he got the news. Once my father informed me on what happened, I said a prayer for her and thank God that she was still alive before we sprung right into action. Her and I aren’t close, but family is family, but misandry is misandry and as I alluded to before, that’s not something I’m willing to look past simply because it’s coming from someone who shares the same DNA as I.

Finding out a family member almost lost their life in a house fire is not news you’d want to hear anytime, but especially not going in the new year. You also don’t want to find out via Facebook that your cousin joined the anti-black male cult, especially knowing how many positive black male figures she’s blessed enough to have in her life. I don’t see not one white man she allegedly has access to lifting a finger to make sure she’s good, but I see black men coming Florida and Georgia to brick weathered Massachusetts to show that we care for her, yet we’re the sorry asses.

To My Locs

Let’s get into the nitty grit(tea). Why would a lesbian want access to white men or care about who has access to men she’s supposedly not interested in? The Facebook post just proves my theory about many locs (lesbians of color). They are only lesbians until a white man comes along.

The irony being their justified hatred of misogyny was created and perpetuated by the very men they are willing to give up lesbianism (and in some cases, feminism) for. I used to work with a queer black woman who made it clear daily that she’d never get involved with men sexually and emotionally ever again after her failed abusive relationship with the father of her daughter. Cool. We all have our wounds and our reasons. The contradiction here is she’d damn near soak her panties when a white man complimented her hair or pretty much said she was “well spoken.”

I find it interesting that the male gaze or a misread male gaze (when one assumes we are flirting when we are not) is something lesbians claim they don’t desire, but I’ve noticed something about a lot of the non-white lesbians/queer women I’ve been around. It all seems to be very fluid when a white man comes around. I’m just curious to know why? If men aren’t your thing, why does this white man have a chance with you? Why do you compete for sexual access to a race of men if you don’t have sex with men in general?

Fact of the matter is, like with most of what I say, there’s deeper conversations that should be had regarding my theories, observations, opinions and facts. I have zero issues with these point of views being one sided if no one is willing to have an honest conversation about them. My goal is to simply express my thoughts. Not to convince anyone of anything.

You say the white man’s ice is colder. I say the black man’s heart is warming. It’s up to you to decide which one of the two you value more.