KOBE!
Rest in Peace to Kobe Bryant. Rest in Peace to Gianna Bryant. Rest in Peace to John Altobelli. Rest in Peace to Keri Altobelli. Rest in Peace to Alyssa Altobelli. Rest in Peace to Sarah Chester. Rest in Peace to Payton Chester. Rest in Peace to Ara Zobayan. Rest in Peace to Christina Mauser.
Before I said anything I felt it would only be right to give every member of that fatal crash a proper farewell. I pray for their families and loved one’s. I pray that they all use the Mamba mentality to continue moving forward through perseverance, faith in self and with love.
It was the Mamba mentality that got me to complete 4 homework assignments equalling up to about 16 pages of me typing and almost 8 hours of me staring at a computer screen. A Sunday which started off as a long day felt very erie the moment I found out what happened. To swiftly paint the picture I was in my school’s library, just finishing up assignment 3 of 4. I wanted to unwind for a bit and do some mindless scrolling on Twitter. The first thing I see when I open the app is a picture of Gianna and Kobe. Not the picture you see posted here created by artist in the Philippines. The one of them court side looking up at the jumbotron, smiling. I read the caption somebody posted along with that picture and in a New York second I dropped my phone and thought “fuck this day!” Fuck everything about it and most of all, FUCK THIS HOMEWORK! It felt like my heart dropped. I was going to send in assignment number 3 and go home. I didn’t want to do anything but go home and lay down in darkness. That is what I did a lot when I was younger whenever shit just hit the fan. After submitting assignment number 3, I thought maybe working on assignment number 4 would hell take my mind off of it. Here I am in the library internally freaking out surrounded by people who just don’t know, don’t care or are too focused on their non-Kobe related conversations to talk about what just happened. I did hear one guy scream “KOBE!” a few hours earlier that day but I thought nothing of it. I knew Bron broke Kobe’s scoring record the night before so I assumed that guy was just reacting to that. In relation to assignment 4, it took me a while to start it. I made about three trips to the bathroom. I really didn’t want to do assignment 4 because of how the incident went down and who was involved. At the time I only knew the names of Kobe and Gianna. Gianna’s name broke my heart. Such a young bright future that girl had. I also was unaware a few of Gigi’s friends were also killed in that accident. I know I said I was going to be swift with it but we’re this far in and I’m not editing anything out except spelling and grammar mistakes. I finally get into the grove of assignment 4 and I think “aint nothing to it, but to do it. As much as you hate this assignment right now. As much as you want to curse out both professors for picking week 3 out of a 17 week course to double down on the assignments as if the weekly readings weren’t already tedious, just do it so you can say you did it and give it your all” Shortly after that it hit me, Kobe would do this shit and not complain one bit. With an empty stomach, watery eyes and a numb body. Kobe would still step up to the challenge and concur. “You need to tap into the Mamba Mentality” is what I told myself before I started sprinting through assignment 4. After that I went home at around 8:30pm after being in the library and staring at a computer screen since 8am. I ate for the first time that day. Scrolled through Twitter, shed some more tears and went to bed. I knew I wanted to write this but I didn’t want to write this immediately after the news. Monday I felt like I needed a mental and physical break so I did that. I write this piece on a Thursday, the second to last day of January 2020. I can tell you that I feel blessed to have experienced Kobe from his first game in the NBA to his last. Needless to say, but I love Kobe. I’m a Celtics fan, through and through, but I always had Love for Kobe and Shaq.
Growing Up.
Kobe was different and that’s what made him and A.I. (Allen Iverson) so special to me. As a social outcast I looked at two gentlemen be themselves and be loved for it. As a kid who was constantly made to feel bad for being himself it gave me just a little hope for my future. I say a little because my mentality and self-esteem now is totally different from what it was back then. On a lighter note Kobe was the first celebrity people compared me to, looks wise. Now it was my parents (mainly mom) who would pinch my slim cheek bones and rubbed my afro and said I was handsome and resembled Kobe Bryant when he rocked the low-fro (short afro). Of course my young self loved it but still acted like I hated the comparisons because it came from my mom, primarily and he was a Laker. Us Celtics fans aren’t supposed to like anyone else, especially a Laker. Just the thought of her and Kobe talking about two of her sons being his biggest fan makes me happy. I never got to rock Kobe’s for two reasons. One because of my love for Iverson’s and Allen Iverson in general so I was a #TeamAnswer loyalist despite me secretly rooting for Kobe whenever he went up against my Celtics or my GOAT Allen Iverson. The other reason was my parents weren’t going to buy the more expensive shoes for me just because they said I looked like Kobe. I didn’t acknowledge it at the time but Kobe played an important part in my self image. So did A.I. but I get my “fuck the world” mentality from A.I. Kobe was teaching me about blackness and I doubt he was out here trying to be the ambassador of what it meant to be black. Like I mentioned before, Kobe was DIFFERENT. He grew up in Italy, he spoke more than one language, he did things we as black men/black people are told we “don’t do.” I was just a kid and pre-teen and I picked up on that. I wasn’t just looking at a great basketball player, I was looking at a great mind and a great human being. No amount of loyalty to any sports team or player could get me to look at Kobe with ill-feelings because for a small part of my childhood I wanted to be Kobe Bryant. I wanted to be tall. I wanted to be handsome. I wanted to be rich. I wanted to be loved for who I was on and off the court despite me not having any basketball related aspirations.
Grown Up.
To see a man I’ve watched play since I was 5 continuously growing into the admirable human being that he was is what I’ll miss. Kobe was 41 and still growing. Still learning and loved every second of it. He and Nip knew exactly how to motivate me. I will credit those two Kings for my personal growth as a man.
You made me laugh, you made me mad, you made me scream. You made me dream. I love you Black Mamba. Rest in Peace Kobe Bean!
