Dating Out Won’t Save Your Love Life.

FKA ES Writer
3 min readMay 1, 2024
Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

It’d been some time since I’ve lit a fire under divestor booty, but like Booker T and Stevie Ray, I’m (still) coming for you nigga!

Let’s not pretend what I’m saying here is not true. Let’s not pretend your favorite agitator doesn’t have an entire blog filled with truths certain members of society don’t want the world to know about. Lucky for them, not everybody is on Medium and not everybody on Medium pays to read premium pieces.

But as the title suggests, I’m going there because I’m sick and tired of these mothafucking divestors on this mothafucking plane! I’ve never seen a group of people so disillusioned with themselves that they truly believe that every failed relationship is because of the other person. I lied for dramatic effect, I have seen people blame ALL of their relationship woes on the people they were with. Both divestors and dillulu’s who still date people of their own ethnic make up do this, but today, the primary ass lighting is for the divestors.

The women who have the “leave the attitude for black men,” attitude. The men who wouldn’t go above and beyond for a black woman living in his back yard but would fly thousands of miles away from home to give his heart, dick and wallet to a foreign chick. Yeah, you, niggas who think your relationship issues are because you dated niggas.

I’m sure these niggas have had problems within their relationships that wasn’t their fault but I can also guarantee that these niggas are also the problem. A problem that wasn’t solved by “dating out.”

Attitude Adjustment.

It may seem that way because you saw your divestor cousin go from Pookie/Ray Ray, Shaniqua/Kiesha and is all over Facebook smiling with their non-black bae, but I assure you it was an attitude adjustment on their end, to be a much softer/kinder lover to their non-black partner.

Unfortunately we have an alarming number of people within the black community who don’t believe we deserve the best from each other, while simultaneously having an “I deserve the best” mindset.

Nothing wrong with wanting the best. Nothing wrong with wanting a partner who will give you the best. Problem is when you’re willing to go the extra mile to appease or keep one race/ethnicity but not someone who shares the same race/ethnicity.

Clocked.

“I’ll stop getting my heart broken if I stop dating black men.” You choose scumbags with “swag” and don’t bat an eye at the brothers who have their shit together despite your perception of them based on the way they dress, speak or carry themselves. You also don’t hold white men or any other men to this standard. You don’t feel like black men deserve anything more than what you can give them sexually and thus all you bring to us is ass and other physical assets on your body. You don’t come to the white man’s table with just your body because you feel like he deserves more from you. When black men say “be my peace” you say “I’m not your momma,” but now that you’re dating/pursing men outside of your race, you’re partner’s peace is your top priority.

“She’s not a gold digger like all black women.” You willingly spend money on her and give her money. You got rid of all your toxic traits, yet you’re still a piece of shit. She’s giving you the best because you gave her your best, but you don’t believe there’s a black woman in this whole wide world who deserves your best and will reciprocate it, willingly.

Don’t have these divestors think they are winning. They’re horrible self-hating race traitors who don’t want a better love life, they just want to spread misery. If they were truly happy with their non-black partner, they’d just shut up and enjoy life. Not feel the need to treat them like a trophy. “Hey black men/black women look what I got! AHA, you lose!

Pathetic.

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FKA ES Writer

Author, creative writer, intuitive tarot reader, intuitive thinker.