An Honest Conversation About Cheating.
We got to have a serious conversation a cheating. Every conversation regarding the topic is a one-sided gender war that amounts to nothing at the end of the day. Nothing more than “men bad women bad” elementary school BS. Here’s a real one’s much needed perspective on the conversation. If you feel the same way, you’re a real one, too.
Cheating is Bad, Mmkay.
No matter what the reason is, it’s all bad. This includes “out of control” drunken nights, “unappreciative partners” and the silliest, “cheating back.”All of these reasons can be deal with via two very do-able and free actions. 1) Having a conversation. 2) Leave. “But I want my cake and eat it too,” clearly you didn’t have much appreciation for “your cake” (your bae) because if you did you wouldn’t have been eating somebody else’s cake or having someone else take a lick/bite out of yours. “It was a mistake.” Nah, it was a bad decision. You meant what you did, it just wasn’t the right decision. But all decisions, right or wrong have outcomes and the outcome sometimes come in the form of consequences. The consequences of cheating should’ve been on your mind when you were making the bad decision. Now deal with it.
What is Cheating?
As the author of “Relationship Advice from a Nobody,” I define cheating as actions that are deemed out of line in the perameters of the relationship. You might be reading this and think what I mention as cheating isn’t cheating. Cool, keep reading anyways. It helps support what I do here and you’re already here so why not stick around? All in all, it’s really simple. If something that is done that isn’t agreed upon from those within the relationship, it is cheating.
Why People Cheat?
Speak to your therapist about that. My uneducated guesses are a number of reasons; Immaturity, insecurity, lack of compassion, depression, ungratefulness. All of these are self-explanartory to me but I will go into detail anyways. Immature people cheat because they aren’t mentally apt to handle personal responsibility to another person/relationship. They lack self-control and discipline. All things needed for a mature committed relationship. You ever heard someone say “I cheated first before it could happen to me?” That’s insecurity and a few other issues that should be unpacked with a professional. You made up this scenario in your mind that your partner was going to cheat on you so you cheated in real life to hurt someone who hasn’t hurt you and probably wasn’t. You’re insane. Lack of compassion is literally that. Someone who cheats with no remorse. You can try to have a reasonable conversation with someone like that but you can also leave them. Partners who cheat because of depression get a little sympathy from me, just a smidge. It’s not because they are emotionally or physically attracted to another person, they just use sex as a coping mechanism to their depression. Sure, they can just have sex with their partner, but you have to factor in the times their partner is not around. Who do they call now? Nut busters. I’m not making excusing cheating in this case, just giving you an image of a person who uses sex as weapon against depression. It’s still wrong. No one else should have to hurt because you’re hurting and don’t want to take proper actions to get through your depression. You can’t fuck the pain away. An ungrateful partner is just that. An ungrateful partner. I’ll tell you to leave, but you’re going to do what you feel is best for you, which is honestly the only bit of advice I’ll give you in this piece. It’s up to you to figure out the rest after making your decision.
Message to the Women.
Ladies, beating the other woman’s tail until it turns blue isn’t going to stop him from cheating. Beating his tail until it turns blue won’t do it either, but I understand. What does put a cheater in their place is leaving them, with or without the ass whooping. Letting them know that the blessing that you brought into their life will no longer exist unless they repent before God. It is up to you at that point whether you want to take them back or not, but staying because you don’t want the other “b*tch” to “win” is definitely not a good move in my opinion. Let her win what? A no good cheating dog? A man of no morals or self control? Any man is better than being manless, huh? All the years y’all put in together is still no excuse to stay with a cheater. All that time clearly didn’t mean enough for him not to cheat on you, so you got to focus on you, your time, your energy and most importantly your happiness. Lastly, a baby won’t make him stay.
Message to the Men.
Yes, we get cheated on too and yes it is okay to cry about it. What I really want to say to men is your “homeboy” sleeping with your woman is not him doing you a favor. I know that is something you tell yourself to keep from fighting that nigga or it is something he tells you and all the other committed men he’s harming, but that nigga is not doing anyone a favor, but himself by getting his rock off and inflating his ego by boasting about the amount of women he “steals” from good natured faithful men he calls “friend.” That’s not to say she’s not to blame for her part in the infidelity. She didn’t slip on a banana peel and landed on his dick. She was with it just as much as your “friend” was. They both should be left in the gutter where they belong. To the men who think they are doing a public service by sleeping with their friend’s partner, I thank you for exposing the hoes out here, but you deserve to get curb stomped. I’ll leave it at that.
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